Fun Quotes Book

A lifetime is more than sufficiently long for people to get what there is of it wrong.

A healthy male adult bore consumes each year one and a half times his own weight in other people’s patience.

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.

The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once…

A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong.

We are all atheists about most of the Gods that man have ever believed in. Some of us just go one God further.

Drive-in banks were established so most of the cars today could see their real owners.

There’s no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn’t tell you about it?

It is bad luck to be superstitious.

Cockroaches and socialites are the only things that can stay up all night and eat anything.

Wisdom is what’s left after we’ve run out of personal opinions.

If nobody spoke unless he had something to say, the human race would very soon lose the use of speech.

Our great democracies still tend to think that a stupid man is more likely to be honest than a clever man.

If you can find something everyone agrees on, it’s wrong.

Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.

Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That’s how rich I want to be.

A fellow who is always declaring he’s no fool usually has his suspicions.

We’re told Abe Lincoln studied by the fireplace, Mozart composed by candlelight and Galileo did his inventing by the light of an oil lamp. Didn’t any of these guys ever think of working during the day?

If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.

People might not get all they work for in this world, but they must certainly work for all they get.

Maybe this world is another planet’s hell.

Nobody outside of a baby carriage or a judge’s chamber believes in an unprejudiced point of view.

Tact is the knack of making a point without making an enemy.

A cynic is not merely one who reads bitter lessons from the past, he is one who is prematurely disappointed in the future.