Fun Quotes Book

America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week.

In the beginning there was nothing. God said, ‘Let there be light!’ And there was light. There was still nothing, but you could see it a whole lot better.

First things first, but not necessarily in that order.

If you watch a game, it’s fun. If you play at it, it’s recreation. If you work at it, it’s golf.

Why is it that our memory is good enough to retain the least triviality that happens to us, and yet not good enough to recollect how often we have told it to the same person?

It is of interest to note that while some dolphins are reported to have learned English — up to fifty words used in correct context — no human being has been reported to have learned dolphinese.

I think age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

One man alone can be pretty dumb sometimes, but for real bona fide stupidity, there ain’t nothin’ can beat teamwork.

The Constitution gives every American the inalienable right to make a damn fool of himself.