Fun Quotes Book

To achieve the impossible dream, try going to sleep.

Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual.

A synonym is a word you use when you can’t spell the word you first thought of.

Crime does not pay … as well as politics.

Democracy is a process by which the people are free to choose the man who will get the blame.

My definition of an expert in any field is a person who knows enough about what’s really going on to be scared.

I’ve wrestled with reality for 35 years, Doctor, and I’m happy to state I finally won out over it.

The things we know best are the things we haven’t been taught.

One of the most obvious facts about grownups to a child is that they have forgotten what it is like to be a child.

Never attribute to malice that which can adequately be explained by stupidity.

Politics, n. Strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles.

An optimist stays up to see the New Year in. A pessimist waits to make sure the old one leaves.

Now we sit through Shakespeare in order to recognize the quotations.

I don’t understand the sizes anymore. There’s a size zero, which I didn’t even know that they had. It must stand for: ‘Ohhh my God, you’re thin.’

There’s always somebody who is paid too much, and taxed too little - and it’s always somebody else.

Character is what you have left when you’ve lost everything you can lose.