Fun Quotes Book

There is always a well-known solution to every human problem—neat, plausible, and wrong.

If we couldn’t laugh, we would all go insane.

Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke.

Any woman who thinks the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach is aiming about 10 inches too high.

A censor is a man who knows more than he thinks you ought to.

Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.

Getting caught is the mother of invention.

I think perhaps the most important problem is that we are trying to understand the fundamental workings of the universe via a language devised for telling one another when the best fruit is.

Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.

We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.

It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues.

Politics is perhaps the only profession for which no preparation is thought necessary.

The prime purpose of eloquence is to keep other people from talking.

Platitude: an idea (a) that is admitted to be true by everyone, and (b) that is not true.

I myself am made entirely of flaws, stitched together with good intentions.

We live in a Newtonian world of Einsteinian physics ruled by Frankenstein logic.

Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.

I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it.

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe.

A word to the wise ain’t necessary, it’s the stupid ones who need the advice.

With stupidity the gods themselves contend in vain.

It’s so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and say the opposite.

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it whether it exists or not, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy.