Showing posts from May, 2014

Nancy Astor

The only thing I like about rich people is their money.

Mickey Friedman

Never give a party if you will be the most interesting person there.

Henry Morgan

A kleptomaniac is a person who helps himself because he can't help himself.

Joan Klempner

To achieve the impossible dream, try going to sleep.

Mike Myers

Silly is you in a natural state, and serious is something you have to do until you can get silly again.

Jane Austen - Emma

Silly things do cease to be silly if they are done by sensible people in an impudent way.

Henry J. Tillman

The saying "Getting there is half the fun" became obsolete with the advent of commercial airlines.

Harvey Diamond

You put a baby in a crib with an apple and a rabbit. If it eats the rabbit and plays with the apple, I'll buy you a new car.

Ludwig Wittgenstein

If people never did silly things, nothing intelligent would ever get done.

Terry Pratchett

There is a rumor going around that I have found God. I think this is unlikely because I have enough difficulty finding my keys, and there is empirical evidence that they exist.

Robert Wilensky

We've heard that a million monkeys at a million keyboards could produce the complete works of Shakespeare; now, thanks to the Internet, we know that is not true.

George Bernard Shaw

When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of, he always declares that it is his duty.

David Letterman

Everyone has a purpose in life. Perhaps yours is watching television.

Anatole France

To be willing to die for an idea is to set a rather high price on conjecture.

Jackie Mason

It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like.

Thomas Jefferson

I believe that banking institutions are more dangerous to our liberties than standing armies.