Fun Quotes Book

A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of.

The incompetent with nothing to do can still make a mess of it.

Everyone is born with genius, but most people only keep it a few minutes.

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.

Humor is just another defense against the universe.

If at first you don’t succeed, find out if the loser gets anything.

If absolute power corrupts absolutely, does absolute powerlessness make you pure?

A diplomat… is a person who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.

Any fool can make a rule, and any fool will mind it.

Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward.

You talk to God, you’re religious. God talks to you, you’re psychotic.

Don’t you wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence? There’s one marked ‘Brightness,’ but it doesn’t work.

There is no reciprocity. Men love women, women love children, children love hamsters.