Showing posts from April, 2009

Jane Austen

A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of.

Laurence J. Peter

The incompetent with nothing to do can still make a mess of it.

Edgard Varese

Everyone is born with genius, but most people only keep it a few minutes.

George Burns

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.

Mel Brooks

Humor is just another defense against the universe.

Bill Lyon

If at first you don’t succeed, find out if the loser gets anything.

Harry Shearer

If absolute power corrupts absolutely, does absolute powerlessness make you pure?

Caskie Stinnett

A diplomat… is a person who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

Mark Twain

Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.

Henry David Thoreau

Any fool can make a rule, and any fool will mind it.

Kurt Vonnegut

Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward.

Doris Egan

You talk to God, you’re religious. God talks to you, you’re psychotic.


Don’t you wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence? There’s one marked ‘Brightness,’ but it doesn’t work.

Alice Thomas Ellis

There is no reciprocity. Men love women, women love children, children love hamsters.