Fun Quotes Book

I've gone into hundreds of [fortune-teller's parlors], and have been told thousands of things, but nobody ever told me I was a policewoman getting ready to arrest her.

Maturity is a bitter disappointment for which no remedy exists, unless laughter can be said to remedy anything.

The best liar is he who makes the smallest amount of lying go the longest way.

When I came back to Dublin I was courtmartialed in my absence and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence.

Courage is the art of being the only one who knows you're scared to death.

To have a right to do a thing is not at all the same as to be right in doing it.

It is only possible to live happily ever after on a day-to-day basis.

If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.

The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball.

Home is where the heart is, so your real home's in your chest.

You can't say that civilization don't advance, however, for in every war they kill you in a new way.

People seem to enjoy things more when they know a lot of other people have been left out of the pleasure.