Showing posts from June, 2014

New York City detective

I've gone into hundreds of [fortune-teller's parlors], and have been told thousands of things, but nobody ever told me I was a policewoman getting ready to arrest her.

Kurt Vonnegut

Maturity is a bitter disappointment for which no remedy exists, unless laughter can be said to remedy anything.

Samuel Butler

The best liar is he who makes the smallest amount of lying go the longest way.

Brendan Behan

When I came back to Dublin I was courtmartialed in my absence and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence.

Harold Wilson

Courage is the art of being the only one who knows you're scared to death.

G. K. Chesterton

To have a right to do a thing is not at all the same as to be right in doing it.

Margaret Bonnano

It is only possible to live happily ever after on a day-to-day basis.

Robert X. Cringley

If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.

Doug Larson

The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball.

Joss Whedon, Zack Whedon, Maurissa Tancharoen, and Jed Whedon

Home is where the heart is, so your real home's in your chest.

Will Rogers

You can't say that civilization don't advance, however, for in every war they kill you in a new way.

Russell Baker

People seem to enjoy things more when they know a lot of other people have been left out of the pleasure.