Fun Quotes Book

Fallacies do not cease to be fallacies because they become fashions.

Misery no longer loves company. Nowadays it insists on it.

The world is full of willing people, some willing to work, the rest willing to let them.

If the world should blow itself up, the last audible voice would be that of an expert saying it can’t be done.

Anarchism is founded on the observation that since few men are wise enough to rule themselves, even fewer are wise enough to rule others.

Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that’s how dogs spend their lives.

Happiness is an imaginary condition, formerly attributed by the living to the dead, now usually attributed by adults to children, and by children to adults.

Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch.

Education is what survives when what has been learned has been forgotten.

Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them would they still grow? Only to be troubled and insecure?

Man forgives woman anything save the wit to outwit him.

Being vague is almost as fun as doing this other thing.

The will to be stupid is a very powerful force, but there are always alternatives.

Criticism is prejudice made plausible.

An executive is a person who always decides; sometimes he decides correctly, but he always decides.

It is our responsibilities, not ourselves, that we should take seriously.

Most human beings have an almost infinite capacity for taking things for granted.

I like an escalator because an escalator can never break, it can only become stairs. There would never be an escalator temporarily out of order sign, only an escalator temporarily stairs. Sorry for the convenience.

Mediocrity knows nothing higher than itself, but talent instantly recognizes genius.

Is there life before death?

You must learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t possibly live long enough to make them all yourself.

Isn’t it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?

When one person suffers from a delusion, it is called insanity. When many people suffer from a delusion it is called Religion.

We must respect the other fellow’s religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.

'to pray': 'to ask that the laws of the universe be annulled in behalf of a single petitioner, confessedly unworthy'.

Unknown Person: But what if you’re wrong about your atheism? What if you die and find yourself before God, who asks you why you didn’t believe? Bertrand Russell: Not enough evidence, Lord; not enough evidence.

… if by “God” one means the set of physical laws that govern the universe, then clearly there is such a God. This God is emotionally unsatisfying … it does not make much sense to pray to the law of gravity.’

Truth, in matters of religion, is simply the opinion that has survived.

Martyrdom is the only way in which a man can become famous without ability.

It had only one fault. It was kind of lousy.

Just because something doesn’t do what you planned it to do doesn’t mean it’s useless.

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people.