Fun Quotes Book

I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting.

Why be a man when you can be a success?

Fanaticism consists in redoubling your effort when you have forgotten your aim.

After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say “I want to see the manager.”

Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?

It is a difficult choice sometimes whether to feel revolted at the male sex or merely to dismiss them as contemptible.

Nobody ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public.

The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not ‘Eureka!’ (I found it!) but ‘That’s funny …’

The covers of this book are too far apart.

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don’t have one.

Irrationally held truths may be more harmful than reasoned errors.

He attacked everything in life with a mix of extraordinary genius and naive incompetence, and it was often difficult to tell which was which.

Many a man who falls in love with a dimple make the mistake of marrying the whole girl.

Remember that as a teenager you are at the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.

Patriotism is often an arbitrary veneration of real estate above principles.

A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.

The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong it usually turns out to be impossible to get at or repair.

The secret of eternal youth is arrested development.

Much of the social history of the Western world over the past three decades has involved replacing what worked with what sounded good.

Man has to suffer. When he has no real afflictions, he invents some.

What was the best thing before sliced bread?