P.J. O’Rourke
Skiing consists of wearing $3,000 worth of clothes and equipment and driving 200 miles in the snow in order to stand around at a bar and drink.
Lewis Black: The International House of Pancakes
You’ll always feel good about your body when you go there — no matter what your body is — because there’s always someone there who weighs 350 pounds more than you’ll ever weigh.