Fun Quotes Book

  “I am a dragon. And this is my hoard.” “You… don’t look like a dragon.” “Well, hardly anyone does, these days. Times have changed, we have too. The scales and tails thing worked with the dinosaurs, but we learned quite quickly that… that wasn’t going to fly with you people.” “You were around all the way back to the dinosaurs ?” “Well, not like… me personally . How old do you think I am?” “… There’s no safe answer to that.” “No.” “So… when you say this is your hoard…?” “All dragons have them. Some stick to the old gold and jewels thing, but that’s so cliche these days. Most of us like our hoards to be a little bit more sophisticated than ‘shiny.’“ “Like what?” “I have known dragons to collect snowflakes from the first fall of the year over dozens of centuries. I know dragons that collect petals of flowers left on the graves of loved ones. Dragons that keep and care for soft toys and comfort items, left behind as children grow up. Dragons that guard happy memories and shards o...

For a good time, call Discworld. The world isn’t round Magic is real, and realistic Narrative causality Gods are real, except when nobody’s looking It will drive you insane

The sun goes down upon the Ankh, And slowly, softly fades- Across the Drum; the Royal Bank; The River-Gate; the Shades. A stony circle's closed to elves; And here, where lines are blurred, Between the stacks of books on shelves, A quiet 'Ook' is heard. A copper steps the city-street On paths he's often passed; The final march; the final beat; The time to rest at last. He gives his badge a final shine, And sadly shakes his head- While Granny lies beneath a sign That says: 'I aten't dead.' The Luggage shifts in sleep and dreams; It's now. The time's at hand. For where it's always night, it seems, A timer clears of sand. And so it is that Death arrives, When all the time has gone... But dreams endure, and hope survives, And Discworld carries on.

The anthropologists got it wrong when they named our species Homo sapiens ('wise man'). In any case it's an arrogant and bigheaded thing to say, wisdom being one of our least evident features. In reality, we are Pan narrans, the storytelling chimpanzee. - The Science of Discworld II: The Globe

If you trust in yourself. . .and believe in your dreams. . .and follow your star. . . you'll still get beaten by people who spent their time working hard and learning things and weren't so lazy.

1: All fungi are edible. 2:  Some fungi are only edible once

Some humans would do anything to see if it was possible to do it. If you put a large switch in some cave somewhere, with a sign on it saying 'End-of-the-World Switch. PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH', the paint wouldn't even have time to dry.

Death was standing behind a lectern, poring over a map. He looked at Mort as if he wasn’t entirely there. Yᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇɴ'ᴛ ʜᴇᴀʀᴅ ᴏғ ᴛʜᴇ Bᴀʏ Oғ Mᴀɴᴛᴇ, ʜᴀᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜ? he said. “No, sir,” said Mort. Fᴀᴍᴏᴜs sʜɪᴘᴡʀᴇᴄᴋ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ. “Was there?” Tʜᴇʀᴇ ᴡɪʟʟ ʙᴇ, said Death, ɪғ I ᴄᴀɴ ғɪɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴀᴍɴ ᴘʟᴀᴄᴇ.

It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone’s fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I’m one of Us. I must be. I’ve certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We’re always one of Us. It’s Them that do the bad things.

It’s not worth doing something unless someone, somewhere, would much rather you weren’t doing it.

Grammar, the fine line between knowing your shit and knowing you're shit. 😁

[...] On the disc, the gods are not so much worshipped as blamed.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

"I like the idea of democracy. You have to have someone everyone distrusts," said Brutha. "That way, everyone's happy."

“They may be called the Palace Guard, the City Guard, or the Patrol. Whatever the name, their purpose in any work of heroic fantasy is identical: it is, round about Chapter Three (or ten minutes into the film) to rush into the room, attack the hero one at a time, and be slaughtered. No one ever asks them if they want to. This book is dedicated to those fine men.”

It is a fact universally acknowledged that a woman in possession of an opinion must be in want of a correction.

In physics, you don't have to go around making trouble for yourself - nature does it for you.

It has been said that man is a rational animal. All my life I have been searching for evidence which could support this.

The release of atomic energy has not created a new problem. It has merely made more urgent the necessity of solving an existing one.