Fun Quotes Book

I hate women because they always know where things are.

There are two tragedies in life. One is not to get your heart’s desire. The other is to get it.

It is a good morning exercise for a research scientist to discard a pet hypothesis every day before breakfast. It keeps him young.

Talking with you is sort of the conversational equivalent of an out of body experience.

A man’s silence is wonderful to listen to.

I haven’t the slightest idea how to change people, but I still keep a long list of prospective candidates just in case I should ever figure it out.

The enemy is anybody who’s going to get you killed, no matter which side he’s on.

I like an escalator because an escalator can never break, it can only become stairs. There would never be an escalator temporarily out of order sign, only an escalator temporarily stairs. Sorry for the convenience.

I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.

I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn’t met me yet.

An old man gives good advice in order to console himself for no longer being able to set a bad example.

It is only an auctioneer who can equally and impartially admire all schools of art.