Fun Quotes Book

A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal.

But the fact that some geniuses were laughed at does not imply that all who are laughed at are geniuses. They laughed at Columbus, they laughed at Fulton, they laughed at the Wright brothers. But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown.

Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

Basic research is what I am doing when I don’t know what I am doing.

If you make people think they’re thinking, they’ll love you; But if you really make them think, they’ll hate you.

Play: Work that you enjoy doing for nothing.

My way of joking is to tell the truth. It is the funniest joke in the world.

There are 10 kinds of people in the world. Those who understand binary and the rest.

Failure is not the only punishment for laziness; there is also the success of others.

There is not any memory with less satisfaction than the memory of some temptation we resisted.

It is not worth an intelligent man’s time to be in the majority. By definition, there are already enough people to do that.

Morality, like art, means drawing a line someplace.

Nothing is impossible. Some things are just less likely than others.

Statistician: A man who believes figures don’t lie, but admits that under analysis some of them won’t stand up either.

Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work and driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for - in order to get to the job you need to pay for the clothes and the car, and the house you leave vacant all day so you can afford to live in it.

The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you’re still a rat.

An incompetent attorney can delay a trial for months or years. A competent attorney can delay one even longer.

By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity. Another man’s, I mean.

Television is the first truly democratic culture - the first culture available to everybody and entirely governed by what the people want. The most terrifying thing is what people do want.

Time is that quality of nature which keeps events from happening all at once. Lately it doesn’t seem to be working.

Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.

An ignorant person is one who doesn’t know what you have just found out.

The nice thing about egotists is that they don’t talk about other people.

I know that you believe that you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.

You cannot make a man by standing a sheep on its hind legs. But by standing a flock of sheep in that position you can make a crowd of men.

Statistics: The only science that enables different experts using the same figures to draw different conclusions.