Fun Quotes Book

The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.

The average person thinks he isn’t.

You know that children are growing up when they start asking questions that have answers.

There are only two ways of telling the complete truth—anonymously and posthumously.

One is tempted to define man as a rational animal who always loses his temper when he is called upon to act in accordance with the dictates of reason.

Life is something that happens when you can’t get to sleep.

I went into a McDonald’s yesterday and said, ‘I’d like some fries.’ The girl at the counter said, ‘Would you like some fries with that?’

A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking.

I’ve been on a diet for two weeks and all I’ve lost is two weeks.

She had an unequalled gift… of squeezing big mistakes into small opportunities.

Since a politician never believes what he says, he is quite surprised to be taken at his word.

The advantage of a classical education is that it enables you to despise the wealth that it prevents you from achieving.

There is nothing worse than aggressive stupidity.

Procrastination isn’t the problem, it’s the solution. So procrastinate now, don’t put it off.

In all recorded history there has not been one economist who has had to worry about where the next meal would come from.

I quit therapy because my analyst was trying to help me behind my back.

Every man serves a useful purpose: A miser, for example, makes a wonderful ancestor.

Discovery consists of seeing what everybody has seen and thinking what nobody has thought.

Traditions are group efforts to keep the unexpected from happening.

For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.

A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.

The government’s view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.

My theory is that if you look confident you can pull off anything - even if you have no clue what you’re doing.

The only thing worse than a man you can’t control is a man you can.

Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.

The only thing to do with good advice is pass it on. It is never any use to oneself.

To be amused by what you read—that is the great spring of happy quotations.