Showing posts from July, 2014

Rita Mae Brown

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you.

Bill Tammeus

Oil prices have fallen lately. We include this news for the benefit of gas stations, which otherwise wouldn't learn of it for six months.

Rita Rudner

My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head.

Henry Kissinger

Nobody will ever win the Battle of the Sexes. There's just too much fraternizing with the enemy.

Dick Cavett

As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it.

Joey Bishop

Today you can go to a gas station and find the cash register open and the toilets locked. They must think toilet paper is worth more than money.


Addresses are given to us to conceal our whereabouts.

P. J. O'Rourke

With Epcot Center the Disney corporation has accomplished something I didn't think possible in today's world. They have created a land of make-believe that's worse than regular life.

Shirley Temple

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when my mother took me to see him in a department store, and he asked for my autograph.

Arlo Guthrie

You can’t have a light without a dark to stick it in.