Showing posts from June, 2010

Mark Russell

The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage.

Oscar Wilde

The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.

Lily Tomlin

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.

Samuel Butler

The best liar is he who makes the smallest amount of lying go the longest way.

Demetri Martin

I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less nurturing than a desert.

Kin Hubbard

Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men.

Mark Twain

I was gratified to be able to answer promptly. I said I don’t know.

Doris Egan

Rational arguments don’t usually work on religious people. Otherwise, there wouldn’t be religious people.

Friedrich Nietzsche

Insanity in individuals is something rare - but in groups, parties, nations and epochs, it is the rule.

James Thurber

The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel.

Henny Youngman

My Grandmother is over eighty and still doesn’t need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.

Tom Robbins

Disbelief in magic can force a poor soul into believing in government and business.

Ginger Meggs

Going to church doesn’t make you a christian anymore than standing in a garage makes you a car.

Wilson Mizner

A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while he gets to know something.

Henrik Tikkanen

Because we don’t think about future generations, they will never forget us.

Lewis Black: The International House of Pancakes

You’ll always feel good about your body when you go there — no matter what your body is — because there’s always someone there who weighs 350 pounds more than you’ll ever weigh.

W.Somerset Maugham

Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.


People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it’s safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs.