Showing posts from January, 2009

Piet Hein

A lifetime is more than sufficiently long for people to get what there is of it wrong.

John Updike

A healthy male adult bore consumes each year one and a half times his own weight in other people’s patience.

Sigmund Freud

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.


The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once…

Rodney Dangerfield

A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong.

Richard Dawkins

We are all atheists about most of the Gods that man have ever believed in. Some of us just go one God further.

E. Joseph Cossman

Drive-in banks were established so most of the cars today could see their real owners.

Kin Hubbard

There’s no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn’t tell you about it?

Andrew W. Mathis

It is bad luck to be superstitious.

Herb Caen

Cockroaches and socialites are the only things that can stay up all night and eat anything.

Cullen Hightower

Wisdom is what’s left after we’ve run out of personal opinions.

W. Somerset Maugham

If nobody spoke unless he had something to say, the human race would very soon lose the use of speech.

Bertrand Russell

Our great democracies still tend to think that a stupid man is more likely to be honest than a clever man.

Mo Udall

If you can find something everyone agrees on, it’s wrong.

Don Marquis

Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.


Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

Rita Rudner

Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That’s how rich I want to be.

Wilson Mezner

A fellow who is always declaring he’s no fool usually has his suspicions.

Jay Trachman

We’re told Abe Lincoln studied by the fireplace, Mozart composed by candlelight and Galileo did his inventing by the light of an oil lamp. Didn’t any of these guys ever think of working during the day?

Dorothy Parker

If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.

Frederick Douglass

People might not get all they work for in this world, but they must certainly work for all they get.

Aldous Huxley

Maybe this world is another planet’s hell.

Lillian Hellman

Nobody outside of a baby carriage or a judge’s chamber believes in an unprejudiced point of view.

Isaac Newton

Tact is the knack of making a point without making an enemy.

Sidney J.Harris

A cynic is not merely one who reads bitter lessons from the past, he is one who is prematurely disappointed in the future.