Showing posts from July, 2008

Joan Klempner

To achieve the impossible dream, try going to sleep.

Terry Pratchett

Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual.

Burt Bacharach

A synonym is a word you use when you can’t spell the word you first thought of.

Alfred E. Newman

Crime does not pay … as well as politics.

Laurence J. Peter

Democracy is a process by which the people are free to choose the man who will get the blame.

PJ Plauger

My definition of an expert in any field is a person who knows enough about what’s really going on to be scared.

Mary Chase

I’ve wrestled with reality for 35 years, Doctor, and I’m happy to state I finally won out over it.

Marquis de Vauvenargues

The things we know best are the things we haven’t been taught.

Randall Jarrell

One of the most obvious facts about grownups to a child is that they have forgotten what it is like to be a child.

Hanlon’s Razor

Never attribute to malice that which can adequately be explained by stupidity.

Ambrose Pierce

Politics, n. Strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles.

Biil Vaughan

An optimist stays up to see the New Year in. A pessimist waits to make sure the old one leaves.

Orson Welles

Now we sit through Shakespeare in order to recognize the quotations.

Ellen DeGeneres

I don’t understand the sizes anymore. There’s a size zero, which I didn’t even know that they had. It must stand for: ‘Ohhh my God, you’re thin.’

Cullen Hightower

There’s always somebody who is paid too much, and taxed too little - and it’s always somebody else.

Evan Esar

Character is what you have left when you’ve lost everything you can lose.