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Showing posts from March, 2008

Isaac Asimov

It pays to be obvious, especially if you have a reputation for subtlety.

Stanislaw J.Lec

There are grammatical errors even in his silence.

Larry Hardiman

The word ‘politics’ is derived from the word ‘poly’, meaning ‘many’, and the word ‘ticks’, meaning ‘blood sucking parasites’.

Charles M. Schulz

Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, “Where have I gone wrong?”/ Then a voice says to me, “This is going to take more than one night.”

Abraham Lincoln

When I do good, I feel good; when I do bad, I feel bad, and that is my religion.

Robert Newton Anthony

Most people would rather be certain they’re miserable, than risk being happy.

Douglas Noel Adams

Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.

Douglas Noel Adams

Man [has] always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much-the wheel, New York, wars and so on-while all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time.
But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man-for precisely the same reason.

Franklin P. Adams

You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.

Franklin P. Adams

The true republic: men, their rights and nothing more; women, their rights and nothing less.

Pauline Frederick

When a man gets up to speak, people listen, then look. When a woman gets up, people look; then, if they like what they see, they listen.

Robert Lee Frost

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age.

Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.

Man has his will - but woman has her way

Anon

THREE wise men - are you serious?

Anon

Sure God created man before woman. But then you always make a rough draft before the final masterpiece.

Anon

There are much easier things in life than finding a good man. Nailing Jell-O to a tree, for instance.

Anon

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

Anon

Women get the last word in every argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

Anon

Women always worry about the things that men forget; men always worry about the things women remember

Germaine Greer

Is it too much to ask that women be spared the daily struggle for superhuman beauty in order to offer it to the caresses of a subhumanly ugly mate?

Mae West

Brains are an asset, if you hide them.

Homer Simpson

When will I learn? The answer to life’s problems aren’t at the bottom of a bottle, they’re on TV!

Homer Simpson

Son, when you participate in sporting events, it’s not whether you win or lose: it’s how drunk you get.

Homer Simpson

Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

Doug Larson

A lot of people mistake a short memory for a clear conscience.

George Bernard Shaw

My method is to take the utmost trouble to find the right thing to say, and then to say it with the utmost levity.

Fletcher Knebel

Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.

Mae West

Too much of a good thing is wonderful.

Michael Pritchard

You don’t stop laughing because you grow old. You grow old because you stop laughing.

Abraham Lincoln

He can compress the most words into the smallest ideas of any man I ever met.

Alfred Hitchcock

The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder.

Rita Rudner

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

Mark Twain

Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.

Bill Nye

Humor is everywhere, in that there’s irony in just about anything a human does.

William Feather

Setting a good example for children takes all the fun out of middle age.

Flip Wilson

The cost of living is going up and the chance of living is going down.

Robert Orben

There’s so much pollution in the air now that if it weren’t for our lungs there’d be no place to put it all.

George Bernard Shaw

The fact that a believer is happier than a sceptic is no more to the point than the fact than a drunken man is happier than a sober one.

Leon Lederman

Physics isn’t a religion. If it were, we’d have a much easier time raising money.

MichelDe Montaigne

Man is certainly stark mad: he cannot make a worm, yet he will make gods by the dozen.

Jilly Cooper

The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness, can be trained to do most things.